Better busy..

I always stay busy to keep myself from thinking about things, be they good or bad things. When I’m hesitant about love, I occupy my time with work and modeling to ensure that I don’t fall victim to my own feelings. It’s the same when I am having internal turbulence. Nothing can make me forget about how much I hate myself at the moment, more than a gathering of energies I can feed from. This isn’t in a sense of praise or adoration of me, yet to just be around them. Refreshing my own with summer air and a splash of other's auras. The littlest things can remind me that I am alive. When I’m not busy I have time to think about the cracs I see. It’s kinda like staring at your face for too long. It’s literally impossible not to find flaws. Some of those flaws may not even be there. So I’ve taken one quote from the Bible to be true if none else. Something about idle hands are the hands of the devil… or whatever Jesus said. I just know that I am better busy than bored, and this month I’m better than the last.