Love me Timely

I am very self-destructive, and it’s something I have been working on. I am defeating myself 85% of the time and it's something that I wish I knew how to fix. I’m not big on therapy unless it’s me and friends crying together, and I honestly know the issue. Love. Often I find myself destroying myself in the name of sanity. When people slight me, that I care about, and I can’t figure out what I did to cause such a slight. It gives me HIGH anxiety. Spending hours making scenarios or sending endless apologies in request for understanding. Which I  rarely get, and that adds to my frustration. Growing from cutting myself I am more aware of my triggers and how to deal with them. Yet, this is one that I still battle with, feeling like I’m enough for me. Weird to say I know I’m enough for others. Somehow I need to figure out how to love me better… because the way I abuse myself mentally and physically is unhealthy. The way I chase things running from me, is unhealthy. My inability to see myself is unhealthy. I love me, but only when I’m able to love someone else. Unless I’m pouring into another, I don’t pour into me. I need to change that.. I don’t know how. But, I’ve got to figure it out… quickly.